Marshmallows and Self-Control

If I were to offer you 1 marshmallow now, or 1 marshmallow later, which would you choose?

Definitely the marshmallow now!

But what if I offered you 1 marshmallow now, or 2 marshmallows later?

That’s a bit of a tougher decision… how long do I have to wait for those 2 marshmallows?

Now, what if I offered you 1 marshmallow now, or a whole pack of marshmallows later today?

The important questions of life! Well, lucky for you, they have already tested these questions with kids!

This experiment can be done with adults too! Let’s change the marshmallow questions to questions about money…

Which would you choose if I offered you $10.00 now or $100.00 in 1 year? 1 month? 1 week? 1 day? 1 hour?

All of these questions help us to understand the differences between self-control and impulsivity!

In these marshmallow experiments:

Choosing the smaller sooner reward = Impulsive

and

Choosing the larger later reward = Self-Control

And when we think of self-control in this way, we find that we can actually teach self-control!

Teaching self-control is a great way to start building your child’s ability to delay gratification and work towards long-term goals with big rewards.

The key to teaching self-control is to do it gradually! Figure out the point that your child’s behavior switches from controlled to impulsive and start there! Teach your child to wait and teach them to engage in other activities while they’re waiting.

Here are some examples of how you can incorporate self-control into your routines:

• Tell them that if they keep their rooms clean for a day, they can get the smaller sooner reward, but that if they keep their rooms clean for a week, they can get the larger later reward!

• Tell them that if they do 10 minutes of studying/homework they can get the smaller sooner reward, but that if they do 30, 45, or 60 minutes of studying/homework they can have the larger later reward!

• Just straight up offer your children two reward choices, a smaller sooner reward and a larger later reward, and tell them exactly how long they need to wait and set a timer! Let them do whatever they want while they wait, and as they’re successful, gradually increase the time they have to wait!

Just remember to honor the expectations you set, and follow through with the reinforcement/rewards as promised!

If your children are consistently choosing the smaller sooner reward, then you need to shorten the time and expectations for earning the larger later reward until they start choosing it – then work from there!

Let me know your experiences with teaching self-control!

Remember, you got this!

Extra nerdy resources:

One Way to Teach Self Control with ABA by Todd Ward

Prevention of Problem Behavior by Teaching Functional Communication and Self-Control Skills to Preschoolers by Kevin Luczynski and Greg Hanley