Catch 'em Being Good!

For today’s Try this Thursday I want you all to set a goal for yourself to catch your child being good!

Some days, this can be really easy – your little one cleans up their toys the first time you ask, they eat all their food at dinner, and they don’t complain when you say it’s time for bed.

Other days, this seemingly simple task feels almost impossible. Your little one refuses to clean up, pushes away their plate at dinner with their arms crossed, cries at bedtime, and just seems to have a bad day!

We all have bad days – and that’s o.k. But we can sometimes turn these days around with a little bit of praise, and catching the good!

On those “bad days” maybe your child does one of these things that you can catch:

• Plays quietly for 30 seconds

• Asks nicely to watch TV or play on the iPad

• Eats one bite of their least favourite food on their dinner plate

• Picks out their pajamas for bed

• Gives you a hug

• Sits nicely on the couch

• Uses an inside voice

• Comes to the table when you tell them it’s snack time (or they listen to you when you give them any other easy disguised instruction – like “play with this toy”, or “eat this treat”, “play on the iPad”)… be creative!

Kids don’t always get praised for doing things well, because usually when they’re being good, we take advantage of that to get other things done. It’s when they are struggling that we give them our attention – so today, try switching it up!

If you have a busy day, try to catch the good a minimum of three times today – once in the morning, once around lunch, and once in the evening!

If you want to really challenge yourself, set a timer for every hour today, and try to catch the good once every hour!

And you can choose how you want to catch them based on what you know works for your kiddo! Do they like your praise and attention? Use that to your advantage! It can be subtle, like a smile, or it can be fun and exaggerated ("Way to go for playing so nicely with your brother!!"). If praise isn't their thing, because it's not for everyone, try spontaneously giving them access to something they really like when you notice them being good - like screen time, or a special toy or activity that they don't get to do much!

Be creative, and leave a comment or send me a message about what you “caught”! If you get stuck, reach out! You got this!

P.S.

Notice I don’t necessarily contrast good vs. bad – I like to talk about “catching the good” but I don’t necessarily like to call challenging behavior “bad behavior” because all behavior serves a purpose for your kids whether it’s considered “good” or “bad.” To them, they don’t understand that it might be considered “bad” – all they know is that doing it sometimes gets them what they want/need in that moment, and so it works for them! Keep your eye out for a post soon on “functions” of behavior (or basically, why we do what we do!) for more information.

Some nerdy references:

Autisn 24/7: A Family Guide to Learning at Home and in the Community by Andy Bondy and Lori Frost

The Use of Behavior Specific Praise and the Caught Being Good Game to Improve Class-Wide Behavior by Emily Rhodes