What is triggering your child's behaviour?

Do you ever stop to wonder what is triggering your child’s behaviour?

There are a few ways to approach this question!

Behavioural scientists might ask: what came right before the behaviour?

• Did something the child likes get removed?

• Did something the child doesn’t like get brought into a situation?

• Is your child hungry? Sleepy? Sick?

• Did anything else change?

Other behaviour analysts might say: it was a combination of things!

• A favourite item was removed, while something unpleasant was brought into a situation! For example, “Turn off the T.V. and go clean your room.”

Other child development and behavioural experts might say something like: An unreasonable demand was placed on the child.

• An unreasonable demand being a demand that a child doesn’t have the skills to complete. For example, a child might be asked to turn off the T.V. and go clean their room, but they struggle with transitions, they struggle with being flexible when their routines change, they have executive functioning challenges, or motor challenges, etc.

• Each of these things can be a contributor to the events that trigger challenging behaviour!

• Remember, when your child is engaging in behaviour, they are trying to communicate something to you, and usually that something is:

  • This is too hard for me right now

    • Because I don’t know how to tell you that I wasn’t quite done with that preferred activity

    • Because I don’t know how to tell you that I need help with this task/demand you’ve given me

    • Because I don’t know how to tell you I don’t know how to do this task/demand you’ve given me

    • Because I don’t know how to tell you that I need something else first (e.g., food, sleep, comfort, etc.)

When you notice challenging behaviour, think about the things that changed leading up to the behaviour and ask yourself:

• What do they need me to teach or help them with in order to be successful in this situation in the future?

They might need:

• Something as simple as a snack or nap

• To learn or practice a new skill related to the task (the skill being anything from folding laundry to communicating better to transitioning from activity to activity)

• A combination of the above!

One of my favourite quotes is “If a child can do well, he/she/they will do well” from Dr. Ross Greene, who is a large advocate for teaching children the skills they are lagging in as a way to prevent challenging behaviour!

Check out his YouTube videos, his books, his documentary, and his upcoming trainings!

Try thinking about these possible triggers, and let us know what you come up with – You got this!